*This was featured on the High Top Flip Flop blog! If you haven't checked out the High Top Flip Flop podcast, please do! Nivake and Krish are two of my favorite people, and do a damn good job letting the people know the truth!*
Hello High Top Flip Flop Followers!
This is the year of loving thy self. People have casually been saying self-love is the way to go for a minute now, but there seems to be this idea that forms of self-love require that you spend a coin on material things. There have been plenty of times I convinced myself I need a $200.00 trench coat from American Apparel just to wear it for a month because Canada’s weather won’t let me be cute. I immediately regretted the purchase and shame on me for overlooking American Apparel’s return policy because a hoe was stuck with it. I personally think this is the most dangerous way of self-loving because it’s a cyclical way of temporarily investing in yourself. There have to be modes of self-love that are integrated into your life, that won’t hurt your bank account and will have a long term impact on your self-love and self-care. You deserve to give a shit about yourself, and your well-being, and reaffirm that you inherently have human worth. A lot of people in their 20s are making the moves necessary for them to succeed in their careers. It may seem like an unrewarding avenue of sustaining yourself, along with the cold winters, and moving from your friends and family in order to pursue your dreams, can really drain someone. I know not everyone is in this situation, but I promise that everything is temporary regardless of your situation. These things will wane away and sooner than later you’ll be facing every aspiration you’ve had in the face. However here are some things that you can do to self-love and care about thy self without spending a pretty coin.
1. Do your nails once a week. Just sit down, shape your nails, lotion up your hands and cut your nails. Paint on nail polish if you’re about the cause. Do this fresh out of the shower and do it once a week, with your favorite music playing, or while watching that Netflix show. This is you time, and this is showing yourself that you care about yourself enough to put aside the time and energy to care about every part of your body, down to the last cuticle.
2. Have healthy relationships with friends, family and significant others. If someone is toxic, cut ‘em off. They aren’t worth it, and you don’t owe them shit. It is so important to surround yourself with only positive, kind energy, because it rubs off. You need to be around people who take your mental health seriously, who adore your existence, and makes sure you know that they adore your existence. You will know who wants to be in your life based on if they put the time aside to spend time with you, and with what vibes they send your way. One of the largest forms of self-love I’ve done is cut off people who gave me negative vibes. I want to only be around people who love on me and care about me, and that’s a fair thing to want as a human. Not everyone is going to blossom with you.
3. Have good, consensual sex. Do it in the middle of the day, in a Honda Civic, while drunk off the Hennessy, etc. It feels good, eases stress, and lets you sleep better at night.
4. Read a book. Hoe! You! Yes, you! When was the last time you sat down and read a good ass book? How good did it feel? You were intellectually engaged and devoured a brilliant story out of it. There are autobiographies on relevant people in pop culture, fantasies of alternative universes, and books on how to make weed foods! There are a plethora of books that you can spend time devouring. Find another form of consuming entertainment, and this is on the free! Having fun isn't hard when you got a library card!
5. Spend time away from social media. It becomes a black hole and you start seeing likes as forms of validation and seeing artificial forms of people as their real selves. It’s unhealthy to consume and to actually invest so much in a screen and some double taps.
6. Forgive yourself. You’re allowed to do that. What’s done is done and you’re a beautiful human who shouldn’t hold things against yourself. It’s 2017, it’s okay to start over and learn lessons from the past. Forgive yourself for having a hard time getting out of bed today, for not showering till 2PM, for falling asleep in class, etc. Just try to see how you can make things better for yourself.
7. Go outside. There’s a whole world out there. You don’t even have to engage with humans. Just make sure you remind yourself there’s so much out there, and so much you can engage with. Take a walk and take in fresh our. We’re all just little people in so much beauty, and being trapped in your home binge watching Jane the Virgin for days on end ain’t a cute look. I promise, you’ll feel a little more energized.
8. Eat good and drink more water. Your body responds poorly to high intakes of sugar and shitty food. Love yourself by caring what goes inside your body. Eat some random fruit like pomegranate or mangos or lychees. Or eat a bag of celery, I don’t know. This stuff helps!
Things to Be Happy For
- Stretching in your bed as you wake up and feeling life come back into your body
- Hot showers with music blasting
- Group texts with your closest people
- Episodes of The Office. Specifically Dinner Party, check it out
- Love. The kind that has you smiling at random times during the day
- That feeling of being around everyone you love at once and just having overwhelming feelings towards them and wanting to squeeze them
- Chunky babies
- Chunky puppies
- Chunky butts
- The creative work you produce
- Being held in tight hugs. No other hugs are real hugs
- The energy at concerts
- Drawing/writing on icy windows
- Laughing till you cry
- The Costco food court
- Holding your man’s/girl’s/gender non identifying partner’s thigh/hand in the car
These are just some things I’ve been trying to do more, but remember someone out there loves you (Krish taught me that) and that EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY, YOU BEAUTIFUL ASS HUMAN.